hsu wei lun

she died.
for those who are so pathetic that they are betting using the numbers that they get from her tod and dod, you deserve to die more.

benji

benji..
a shichi..
hybrid of chihuahua and chih tzu..
i will miss you knocking at the door late at nite juz to get in..
i will miss catching the fleas on your body..
i will miss you chasing the car whenever we are leaving..
i will miss you sleeping ever so soundly on the carpet..
your legs pointing at the sky..
your panting that sounds like a clickle..
your excitement at the sight of KFC..
your licking all over me..
your funny look after a visit at e grooming centre..
your innocent eyes staring at me..
u muz be in pain when the car hit you..
did u had a premonition?
unable to eat anythg for two days b4 tragedy struck.
on e way to the vet holding the last breath..
you muz have felt awful..
cuz you did nt make it there in time..
why muz the vet be so far away..
forgive the person that banged you..
she loved you too..
it was all but an accident..
you will forever be remembered when i opened the fridge and i saw a can of sirloin steak, the disinfectant to kill e fleas and the perfume that you used..
long b4 u realized,
you r oredi a member of the house
Mr Benji Ng..
Rest in peace brother..

life and death

when a person is alive, we fail to notice her presence.
but when the person is no longer there, we start to regret and miss her.

i wana cry, wista cry, but since that day onwards, i forget how to anymore..
lost the way to vent frustrations..

was happy everyday, but i dunno wads so happy
under that super high exterior is a little girl who has forgotten how to cry..

so many things, so many obstacles..
after maneuvoring thru so many hurdles, there bound to be a time where she will fall..
crashing into the hard solid lead..

pain.. something so frequent its nth new anymre..
blood.. no longer threatens her..
bruise.. she had more scars..

to cry is a blessing..
u can show how u feel..

the worst thg in lifr is not being able to express how u feel
not noeing how u feel..

the unknown..

my fren.. cherish crying.. for i no longer noe how to..

dunno wad to write.. juz one of those days where i'm down ba..
hmmm maybe outta e 365 days, i'll be down for 364.5 days? hahah.. dunno..
but nvm.. sick le.. haix as pple grow old, some thgs do catch up huh?

hmmm when u r motivated to do sth, these injuries and ailments can be pushed aside temporarily..

but they do accummulate u noe.. so weird.. n it will grow so big till u dun hav much strength to push it aside anymore...

everythg simply goes outta control i guess...

hmm... interesting..

i am a INFP

vaness ask me take the test and i gt INFP. previously was ENTJ. what a huge change..

The Idealist

INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves

INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.

Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.

INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.

INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".
When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.

INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.

INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.

INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.

INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.

INFP Strengths

Most INFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationship issues:

• Warmly concerned and caring towards others
  
• Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
  
• Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
  
• Deep capacity for love and caring
  
• Driven to meet other's needs
  
• Strive for "win-win" situations
• Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
  
• Likely to recognize and appreciate other's need for space
  
• Able to express themselves well
  
• Flexible and diverse
  

INFP Weaknesses

Most INFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:

• May tend to be shy and reserved
  
• Don't like to have their "space" invaded
  
• Extreme dislike of conflict
  
• Extreme dislike of criticism
  
• Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
  
• May react very emotionally to stressful situations
  
• Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
  
• Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
  
• Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
  
• Perfectionistic tendancies may cause them to not give themselves enough credit
  
• Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders

saranghaeyo

sth which i wish to put behind me
sth which i've neva wanted to face
or hear...
juz dun let it get close to me..
its a form of escape
wonder how long more can i escape..
izit true aft a while
u wud have gotten so used to escaping
that nth seems to have happen at all..
bt its nt possible...
cuz i c u in sch everyday..
even if i dun want to..
i still do..
told myself its okay
psycho myself into believing that it was nth..
everythg is over..
bt yet in my heart...
i cant get over it..
when i c u, my heart aches..
really badly..
a sad feeling washed over me..
at that split second, nth cums to my mind except saranghaeyo...

germans juggernauts!

hahha germany won 4-2 on penalties! so sad case la..wanted argentina to win. hmm bt jose pekerman is one snubbish fellow. substituting riquelme, crespo, nt putting saviola. dunno wad e hell he tinking la! sianx.. too cocky le la.. i shd be e coach! hahah jking... bt yupx germs r thru.. they will continue to spread e virus ard.. hahah bt hey ayala's goal so cool la! horizontally aerial goal! whoa! total insult to germans lor. they r supposed to be tall n stuff? e least of e goals shd come fr headers lor.. bt its okay.. over le.. i found a new hero tho.. miroslav klose.. hehe even his name sounds cool.. bt yupx a striker deadly w his head.. hehheh tink he n ronaldo can fite for e golden boot le.. he on a 5 le.. hahah add another 5 mre ba.. double figs r nicer..

hmmm juz sm hrs ago omoz e whole team went to celebrate chichi's bdae which is today! happy bdae chi!=) yupx gt a shock la.. stupid huan call me at 3 plus n juz go.. wth.. bt very long neva meet w them le.. hehe was so glad to see all e j2s there.. as usual, bickering abt dumb stuff.. saw peisee b4 that.. whoa like seeing a mother liddat.. she owayz gave me a ma ma kind of feeling.. so comfy n protected under her.. hahah.. tink i scare her today tho.. oops sorry.. yupx den went kbox.. hahah damn funi la.. chichi pick some chi or wadeva dialect oldies.. so dumb.. n yupx ew were on a high! jumping, screaming, huan n me even tried acting macho.. which was so screwed.. hehe.. den j1s came join us awhile to cut e cake.. haha smashed it onto chichi's face.. n she was wearing make up.. omg! oops sorri.. hahah den they left except sunlu.. started competing in pairs n its juz so dumb.. bt e climax.. hahah we were all standing on e couch n singing when e door sud open.. every1 started sitting down omoz immediately except sandy! hahaha she was so malu la.. we were laughing like siao.. bt hey its fun.. hao jiu mei zhe me wan le.. n w huan n joei these 2 siao ones plus a stupid mary.. hahah ultimate. wad can i say? j2s rock! hahah.

hmmm appreciated wad they doing today tho.. its chi's bdae la bt they were all like accommodating n accompanying me.. like hey jas wan sing wad song. hey dun anti social lehx. come sit w us. hmm small gestures bt it showed alot.. they oso omit sad songs n sang those super high de.. thx guys.. u all rock. really. every single 1 of u. my ma owayz say play ball those frens season finish jiu no toking le la. bt hey thats nt true.. i believe fate brought us tgt w a common ability, a common gift. that is basketball. basketball was wad started us bt it will never end us.. there r still so many thgs besides bball that we can share abt ba.. friendship.. bonding.. all these cant be taken away simply like e season.. it is etched there..

i give my thanks n am contented. man owayz lament its nt enuf. bt when we look ard us, we act have mre den enuf. if u cherish.