wo shi ge huai ren

when i say that, pls dun doubt me. cuz i really am. i'm frustrated, upset n xintong for that person i've hurt so deeply. juz wth came over me i oso dunno bt jiu feel like killing myself ba. how can i actually lie to her?! i seldom lie bt in e span of 2 mths, i actually lie more than i did for the whole of my 17 plus yrs. hmmmm hate myself alot nw. dun deserve anyone's pity, consoling or wad so ever. cuz i'm a sinner. even if others can forgive me, i can never forgive myself. never ever. all those are excuses to ease my sins abit but the fact is i actually lied! ahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god help me..........................